Neek+Ang: Parents of Expat Wives

I haven't seen my parents in almost 9 months. Our daughter is 19 months old and has spent a mere 3 months in the same country as her grandparents. And if that isn't sad enough, we aren't even sure when we will be able to obtain an exit visa from Qatar so we can be reunited with them in the United States.

(Doha, Qatar)

This is the life of an expat wife (a term I never even knew existed until a couple years ago). Most people would say being a wife of an international professional basketball player sounds pretty glamorous. And well, I'd be lying if I said it didn't have some fabulous perks. I am ever so grateful that my daughter, my husband, and I and are making lifelong memories as we travel the world together. We have rare opportunities to experience other cultures in ways most people can only dream of. We are befriended by people of all nationalities, we savor cuisines that we may otherwise never know existed, we wear garments that will never make the shelves of American stores, we ride camels on the shores of the Persian Gulf, we trek along the incredible Great Wall of China, and we listen to multiple languages being spoken everyday. We even gave birth to our daughter in Doha, Qatar and I cherish everything mentioned more than words can express.

(Persian Gulf, Qatar)

(The Great Wall of China, Beijing)

(Malate Church, Manila, Philippines)

BUT- what about my parents? What about all the parents who give their precious daughter's hand in marriage to a young man and then realize she is taking off to a foreign country to support her husband's career? Their little girl has become an expat wife.

She won't be home for Thanksgiving, Christmas or most holidays and gatherings. She is now in a time zone half a day ahead of them. She can't hop in her car and drive home to the safety of the ones who raised her. She can't call mom to bring over chicken soup when she is sick, or call dad to come change her flat tire. She can't sit by them during church services or hold their hands during prayer. She can't drop their adored grandchild off to be spoiled all weekend by memaw and pepaw. She is missed deeply and profoundly and it takes special people to be her parents.

(My parents, aren't they cute?)

Obviously, the parents of young men who leave the country for their careers miss them deeply and don't have it easy. But, having a little girl of my own I have to say their must be a difference in seeing your son go off to follow his dreams and have a successful career in another country as opposed to seeing your daughter leave the country to support her husband as he follows his dreams.

( GCC Tournament Dubai, UAE)

My remarkable parents poured most of their adult life into helping me achieve all my goals, especially when it came to basketball. They rebounded, took me to practices and games. They even made sure I was on the best teams and had every opportunity to go as far as possible in the sport our family loves. After a successful college basketball career I had an offer to go play professional basketball in Europe and would be scheduled to fly out 3 days later if I was to accept. Then suddenly, the game of basketball became of little importance to them because it meant their little girl would be living on the other side of the world for most of the year. With much advice and concern from my parents I didn't accept the offer and went on to pursue other goals of mine within the borders of the United States. To be honest, it was almost too much for them to handle when I worked in NYC, LA, and ATL for that matter.

(Don't mind the sweat band of the calf 😭)

Then, ironically, just a few years later here they were taking my husband and I to the airport to go live in Qatar for 9 months where he had signed to play the upcoming basketball season. Not only was this a country in the heart of the Middle East as media coverage of ISIS soared but I was 8 months pregnant.

They didn't get to be there when our daughter Jincy Rose was born, they didn't even get to meet her until she was 8 months old. I'll never forget when we finally arrived back in Knoxville, TN and came out of the airport terminal to find them crying tears of joy. We spent most of the summer with them, minus our trips to the Philippines, Beijing, and Indiana (where my husband is from) before heading back to Qatar for another basketball season.

(Some of Jincy's first steps in Hong Kong airport)

By this time they were oh so attached to their new pride and joy, their grand daughter, and letting us leave cut even deeper than the year before. Somehow, though they are thousands of miles away, they have been our backbone through moving abroad. They surprise us with plenty of packages for everything from all three of our birthdays to Christmas and Easter. And sometimes just because we need my mom's "now" world famous chocolate chip cookies or they found something Jincy just "had to have". We can expect texts everyday checking on us and demanding pictures and videos of their grand daughter and grand dogs. They watch as many games online and heckle the refs from across the ocean. They pray for us daily and Skype with us every Sunday without fail. They hoard up gifts and toys for when we'll make it back home. Their love reaches across all those miles and we can feel them anxiously waiting for us to return. As I write this I just got a text from my mom asking what "her" Jincy is doing! And an email from my dad saying

"Be smart, be wise and be careful. Oh dear Lord I pray for a safe and secure journey home for our babies. Oh Lord I thank you that they are your babies too and I know we can trust your mighty hand to be on them, around them and keep the wiles of the devil away. Please Lord hold them in the palm of your hand and bring them home safely and in a timely manner. We will certainly give you the praise and glory, Amen. Love!!! -Dad"

They support my husband in his career with genuine enthusiasm even though it has taken their daughter far from where they would like me to be and that means so much to me.

(My dad and husband)

Thankfully, my very wise, caring, and thoughtful husband bought us the house right next door to my parents! So not only will we be able to spend our summers with them, we now can look forward to the abundant time we will have together when he retires. The house that we purchased is an old fixer upper. Needless to say, my parents and my grandpa have been working tirelessly on this project to make sure it's ready for us to live in by the time we make it home because having us rent a places a few minutes drive away would just be too far from them! I remember someone asked us why we chose that house when we could have found something "better". My husband and I looked at each other and smiled and said "nothing is better than living next door to Mom and Dad". Yes, I know "he's a keeper!" ;)

There are beloved daughters scattered all across the globe in the role of expat wives supporting our husband's career as our incredibly selfless and strong parents are back in America missing us, encouraging us, being there for us in ways that only they can. They truly give us the ability to continue on the path that God has set us on. In other words... "Hey parents of expat wives(especially mine), YOU ALL ARE THE REAL MVPs!!

Many thanks to ALL of our family and friends who support us along the journey. Your love and prayers are felt and appreciated!

Hope to see you all soon!

Angela