Parents of Expat Wives

 

     I haven't seen my parents in almost 9 months. Our daughter is 19 months old and has spent a mere 3 months in the same country as her grandparents. And if that isn't sad enough, we aren't even sure when we will be able to obtain an exit visa from Qatar so we can be reunited with them in the United States.

 

 (Doha, Qatar)

This is the life of an expat wife (a term I never even knew existed until a couple years ago).  Most people would say being a wife of an international professional basketball player sounds pretty glamorous. And well, I'd be lying if I said it didn't have some fabulous perks.  I am ever so grateful that my daughter,  my husband, and I and are making lifelong memories as we travel the world together. We have rare opportunities to experience other cultures in ways most people can only dream of. We are befriended by people of all nationalities, we savor cuisines that we may otherwise never know existed, we wear garments that will never make the shelves of American stores, we ride camels on the shores of the Persian Gulf, we trek along the incredible Great Wall of China, and we listen to multiple languages being spoken everyday. We even gave birth to our daughter in Doha, Qatar and I cherish everything mentioned more than words can express.

 

(Persian Gulf, Qatar)

 (The Great Wall of China, Beijing)

 

(Malate Church, Manila, Philippines)

    BUT- what about my parents?  What about all the parents who give their precious daughter's hand in marriage to a young man and then realize she is taking off to a foreign country to support her husband's career?  Their little girl has become an expat wife. 

She won't be home for Thanksgiving, Christmas or most holidays and gatherings. She is now in a time zone half a day ahead of them. She can't hop in her car and drive home to the safety of the ones who raised her. She can't call mom to bring over chicken soup when she is sick, or call dad to come change her flat tire. She can't sit by them during church services or hold their hands during prayer. She can't drop their adored grandchild off to be spoiled all weekend by memaw and pepaw. She is missed deeply and profoundly and it takes special people to be her parents.

 

 (My parents, aren't they cute?)

Obviously, the parents of young men who leave the country for their careers miss them deeply and don't have it easy. But, having a little girl of my own I have to say their must be a difference in seeing your son go off to follow his dreams and have a successful career in another country as opposed to seeing your daughter leave the country to support her husband as he follows his dreams. 

 

( GCC Tournament Dubai, UAE)

My remarkable parents poured most of their adult life into helping me achieve all my goals, especially when it came to basketball. They rebounded, took me to practices and games. They even made sure I was on the best teams and had every opportunity to go as far as possible in the sport our family loves. After a successful college basketball career I had an offer to go play professional basketball in Europe and would be scheduled to fly out 3 days later if I was to accept. Then suddenly, the game of basketball became of little importance to them because it meant their little girl would be living on the other side of the world for most of the year. With much advice and concern from my parents I didn't accept the offer and went on to pursue other goals of mine within the borders of the United States.  To be honest, it was almost too much for them to handle when I worked in NYC, LA, and ATL for that matter. 

 

(Don't mind the sweat band of the calf 😭)

Then, ironically, just a few years later here they were taking my husband and I to the airport to go live in Qatar for 9 months where he had signed to play the upcoming basketball season. Not only was this a country in the heart of the Middle East as media coverage of ISIS soared but I was 8 months pregnant. 

 

They didn't get to be there when our daughter Jincy Rose was born, they didn't even get to meet her until she was 8 months old. I'll never forget when we finally arrived back in Knoxville, TN and came out of the airport terminal to find them crying tears of joy.  We spent most of the summer with them, minus our trips to the Philippines, Beijing, and Indiana (where my husband is from) before heading back to Qatar for another basketball season. 

 

 (Some of Jincy's first steps in Hong Kong airport)

 

By this time they were oh so attached to their new pride and joy, their grand daughter, and letting us leave cut even deeper than the year before.  Somehow, though they are thousands of miles away, they have been our backbone through moving abroad. They surprise us with plenty of packages for everything from all three of our birthdays to Christmas and Easter. And sometimes just because we need my mom's "now" world famous chocolate chip cookies or they found something Jincy just "had to have". We can expect texts everyday checking on us and demanding pictures and videos of their grand daughter and grand dogs. They watch as many games online and heckle the refs from across the ocean. They pray for us daily and Skype with us every Sunday without fail. They hoard up gifts and toys for when we'll make it back home. Their love reaches across all those miles and we can feel them anxiously waiting for us to return. As I write this I just got a text from my mom asking what "her" Jincy is doing!  And an email from my dad saying 

    "Be smart, be wise and be careful. Oh dear Lord I pray for a safe and secure journey home for our babies. Oh Lord I thank you that they are your babies too and I know we can trust your mighty hand to be on them, around them and keep the wiles of the devil away. Please Lord hold them in the palm of your hand and bring them home safely and in a timely manner. We will certainly give you the praise and glory, Amen. Love!!! -Dad"

They support my husband in his career with genuine enthusiasm even though it has taken their daughter far from where they would like me to be and that means so much to me.

 

 (My dad and husband)

Thankfully, my very wise, caring, and thoughtful husband bought us the house right next door to my parents! So not only will we be able to spend our summers with them, we now can look forward to the abundant time we will have together when he retires. The house that we purchased is an old fixer upper. Needless to say, my parents and my grandpa have been working tirelessly on this project to make sure it's ready for us to live in by the time we make it home because having us rent a places a few minutes drive away would just be too far from them! I remember someone asked us why we chose that house when we could have found something "better". My husband and I looked at each other and smiled and said "nothing is better than living next door to Mom and Dad".  Yes, I know "he's a keeper!" ;)  

 

 

There are beloved daughters scattered all across the globe in the role of expat wives supporting our husband's career as our incredibly selfless and strong parents are back in America missing us, encouraging us, being there for us in ways that only they can. They truly give us the ability to continue on the path that God has set us on. In other words... "Hey parents of expat wives(especially mine), YOU ALL ARE THE REAL MVPs!! 

Many thanks to ALL of our family and friends who support us along the journey. Your love and prayers are felt and appreciated!

Hope to see you all soon!

Angela 

 

 

(Doha, Qatar)

 

 

 

(GCC Tournament, Dubai UAE)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 ((Dubai, UAE)

Grace For a Season

FROM THE TOP: 

     When Angela first decided to help lead an online women's Bible study called "Bibles and Basketball", I was ecstatic for her, not to mention extremely proud of her for taking on such an important leadership position which demanded much of her time and devotion. From its outset I could tell how seriously she was taking the responsibilities of her role, especially when she hit me with THE RULES. Uh oh!!! Rules??? I can remember feeling my facial expressions change from one emotion to another, going through phases which probably resembled the best selection of emojis. Before my smile turned to a frown, she made it very clear to me that in order for this to work I had to follow THE RULES.  "Don't worry," she said, "there's only two and they're simple." #1 "Keep Two Eyes on Jincy" and #2 "Absolutely no listening in on calls" for the sake of privacy of the other women involved in the study, AKA GIRL TALK. I didn't know which of these two tasks would be more difficult. Jincy can be a little humming bird in the morning (FUN FACT: A hummingbird's heart can beat up to 1,400 times a minute). In other words, Jincy stays busy and I think that humming bird has met its match. 

 

On top of that, her and Angela are like magnets, two very strong magnets, especially when Jincy decides she's ready to eat. 

 

    Furthermore, being forbidden to listen to my favorite person talk about OUR favorite PERSON, Jesus, would be tough not to bend an ear to. But I promised to give my best, because this was important for the betterment of our family as well as for the Kingdom work at hand, and besides I am always up for a challenge.   

 

RECAP: 

    This has been a very special season for our family. Our second year in Qatar is coming to a close and I am more than happy to say that "We are more than HAPPY". God has been so good to us!  We've had the opportunity to witness our little Ms. Jincy Rose blossom into the most amazing little girl. At one year and a half, we've been amazed by her  progress. She loves to entertain  passing strangers, performing nearly  everything she knows in her own little act in which we've nicknamed "The Jincy Routine". No really, it's a full act, and she expects an applause after everything she does. Don't worry she doesn't charge admission, not yet anyways. 

 

She loves for us to read her books, she's memorized her ABC's and numbers 1-11, along with about 25 kids praise and worship songs (Thanks Mrs. Faye). Throw her THE ROCK (basketball) and she knows exactly what to do with it; dribble, pass, catch, and shoot. 

 

 

Are you surprised? Do I sound like a proud Dad yet? Nothing makes Angela and I more proud than when Jincy sings "Jesus Loves Me" and asks us to pray with her in the morning or before we eat meals. To hear her precious little voice say "amen" is nothing short of angelic. Believe me, I could go on and on and on about our Jincy and about God's grace.

 

 

Certainly, when I said this season has been special, I wasn't merely referring to this season of basketball, although that too has been highlighted by God's grace. Two major championships, Most Valuable Player, Import of the Year, and All First Team Honors were among the accolades I received.  

 

 

 

Clearly, the success I experienced on the court this year, and last year for that matter, has everything to do with what I have been blessed with off the court, the real SUPERSTAR of our family, what truly matters, and what's made not only this season but my life so special, my beautiful wife, Angela. 

 

LOOKING BACK: I must admit, two years ago I adopted a very selfish way of thinking, in that me and my job were responsible for the unique circumstances of living abroad, traveling the world, and the many other perks that go go along with being paid to do something I love to do. I didn't do this knowingly, nor out of arrogance, but rather in a sense of pride a man has in being able to provide for his family. Foolishly, I let this go to my head. Maybe I am being a bit harsh, but these are the words my heart wished to manifest the intensity of my convictions and the amount of indignation I now feel toward this self-centered and worldly way of thinking which couldn't be anything further from the truth. This could have been catastrophic to our family and prevented this beautiful season of life we find ourselves in today. 

 

THE PROCESS: But thank God for His  grace, in allowing me to recognize my warped way of thinking, and in my repentance He was able reveal His truth to me. Simply put, this is not about me or my job! And I am definitely not the only one working. If anything, Angela retains more job titles, carries more weight, and contributes more to our family in invaluable ways. Who sacrifices their own dreams in the support of another's? A loving wife does. Who has an innate capacity to care for a child in the midst of tireless days and restless nights? An amazing mother does. But those are not what she considers to be her jobs, she does them willingly and with love far beyond my love for the game of basketball. Shall I continue?  She's a friend, an advocate, counselor, trainer, motivational speaker, coach, business partner, and right now she's even my nurse as I recover from an injury. The list goes on and on. In times when I struggle and my confidence wavers she is my encourager. When pay checks don't come in for months at a time (yes that happens) as my praying partner she reminds me of our faith in who He is, Jehovah-Jireh "the Lord will provide". She willingly, in the love for her family, becomes anything and everything the time calls for her to be, but what I appreciate calling her more than anything, is calling her MY OWN. I am humbled to say, by the grace of God and the love my wife, THANK YOU.

 

 

 

THIS VERY MOMENT: After Jincy just did a 100 yard dash out of our bedroom, around the corner, and out of my sight, when I finally caught up to her in the front room she was already magnetically connected to her Momma "eating".  As I sit down on the other side of the room to catch my breath, I open up my Bible to do some studying of my own. I can't help but to overhear my wife as she prays over the final Bible study of the season. I can feel my heart pverflow with joy and it's taking all of my restraint to quietly praise God for the grace He's demonstrated to my wife and amongst this called group of women from around the world that's been brought together by their mutual faith in Jesus Christ, encouraging one another to seek out the prospect of virtue, honor, and glory all found in the Lord Jesus Christ. I am amazed at the work God has done and the love that's been poured out in this once group of strangers but now sisters in Christ connected by His Spirit. 

 

Through the many stories Angela has shared with me about these families, their trials, tribulations, triumphs, and similar circumstances, we've learned to appreciate our marriage and family, and have grown more intimate in our spiritual walk together. To the creator of this group, Megan, I thank God for using you to make this possible along with the other leaders for your faith in God and the love you showed my wife. I know I am not the only proud husband, but I think I speak for us all when I say, it sure is a blessing to have a virtuous wife. By God's Grace.

 

Sincerely, 

Dominic James Wright

Thanks as always for all the support, love, and prayers from near and far!

Here are more pictures from our time in Qatar, follow us on IG @NeekieWright & @Ang______________