Jehovah Jireh

Some of you may know that Dominic and I traveled to South Africa a couple summers ago for me to join Adam Sandler in a basketball scene for his  movie Blended.  

   But what most of you don't know is that by the time the movie came out in theaters this year  we couldn't even afford to go see it! 

(On set for the movie Blended)

   We recently have felt led to share our struggles to let others know they are not alone in their difficulties  no matter how great other people's lives may seem and most of all to say Jehovah Jireh... The Lord will provide. 

 

  Thanksgiving isn't just a holiday for us anymore but a way of living. Simple things  we once took for granted like going to the grocery store and being able to fill the cart with items we need and items we want (like ice cream) now bring us to praise God from the check out line to the team provided vehicle we are so thankful for.  That turns into us praising God for our apartment we drive back to here in Doha and on and on it goes. 

   I don't know if we would have this attitude of gratitude though if it wasn't for what we have been through in the past year, the struggles that most people don't know we have had.  

    I'll never forget it. We drove from

Atlanta to visit my parents in Tennessee on Sept 6th 2013, two days before our wedding.  We made the trip in hopes of getting my dad's final stamp of approval on our decision to get married but he gave us much more. He gave us advice that only a couple married for 25years can give. Most of the advice I didn't think we necessarily  needed or would ever apply to us at the time. But  I was wrong (I feel like I have to say that often these days).

     One particular question my dad asked us stood out as I look back on our back porch conversation with Dominic and I sitting so close beside one another you couldn't have fit a piece of paper between us and my parents sitting across from us looking at us as if they were seeing themselves 20 years ago, madly in love and naive enough to think struggles wouldn't come.  

   He looked towards the sky for a few moments as if he was in deep thought, smiled a smile that wasn't quite like any other smile I've ever seen from him, looked back at us and went on to tell us there would be many good times but there would also be hard times. He then asked "So what will y'all do when the money runs out and you gotta find a way to put food on the table? Will your love be strong enough  that you're willing to go down here to the Git-n-Go and sell hot dogs to make ends meet?"

    We both kind of laughed and I squeezed my husbands hand as I knew we were both sharing the same thought. "That will never happen to us, we have plenty of money and plans of making more money." 

(Just before we left TN on Sept 6th, 2013)

    We went on to get married that Sunday, September 8th, after a church service that my husband was baptized in and it was one of the best days of both of our lives.  (That's a story for another blog as it wasn't your typical wedding)

(Our wedding day) 

    We took a few days to honeymoon on the beach and then jumped right into working together. We had big plans and much to accomplish, even though my husband had made the decision to stop playing professional basketball to focus on The Lord to everyone's dismay. Our plate of work/business opportunities was far from empty.

(An article from Fox Sports about our Pulloons business)

  The next few months were filled with projects and business building that taught us more than we could have ever imagined. To make a long story short we were cheated and scammed by multiple people in multiple ways out of a great deal of money and could be the victims on the tv show "American Greed".  (No really, don't be surprised if you see our story on an episode one day.) 

   We experienced  the feelings that victims go through including  anger, defeat, hopelessness, bitterness, resentment, and even disbelief but today we are 100% sure that God allowed us to go through those losses to learn to fully rely on Him and give Him all the glory.  See, God may not cause bad things to happen to you but nothing can get to you without coming through Him first. And since He isn't most interested in us having a comfortable and easy life but interested in us becoming like His son, Jesus Christ, sometimes He allows us to go through terrible experiences.  

   In our case He allowed Dominic and I to lose every thing we had, everything we worked for, and everything we used to glorify ourselves. When I say everything, I mean, everything. My husband will tell you all about that but first I want to be clear why we are sharing these intimate and almost embarrassing details about our life. It's because we realize that everyone is going through something. Even though we all put these perfect masks on for social media and present these lives that look problem free and glamorous enough for others to envy, the truth is we all go through struggles. So, what if instead of hiding our struggles and acting like we have it all together we open up, be real with one another, and share what we have learned through difficult times and being victims because what we have learned is more valuable than money, cars, clothes, or any other material possession.  

 

From my husband's point of view: 

 

  I remember looking at an empty refrigerator. I remember cringing when I looked at the empty balance of our bank account. And I remember thinking that these hard times could not picked a worse moment to arrive. Angela and I just found out we were expecting and here we were unable to provide anything for ourselves. 

(Days after our first ultrasound)

As a man, husband, and Dad I was hurt, my pride had taken a major blow, I was extremely angry, and almost everything inside of me wanted to take my vengeance out on the people we had trusted in but had swindled us out of everything we had. It didn't make sense to me that at a time I had put everything on the back burner to follow Jesus that these types of misfortunes could be occurring in me and my family's life. It all seemed so unfair because I truly felt my wife and I were being obedient to everything the Lord had for us. I soon realized the Lord had our attention more than ever before. We were in deep, and we knew it would be nothing we could do, but only what God was able to do to save us from the predicament we were in. We had placed our faith in Jesus long before these mishaps arose and we weren't willing to withdrawal from Him now in order to take matters into our own hands, even if it meant us losing everything we had. And eventually, that's exactly what happened and we felt our faith was being tested.

(Our refrigerator, what's left inside had already gone bad. As hopeless as it looked we still had faith and said "let's take a picture of this so when better times come we won't forget)

The miraculous ways God works don't seem so miraculous during the midst of the process. All of our money gone in the blink of an eye, my once treasured car no longer sitting in the driveway, and no food in the cabinets or refrigerator, doesn't sound much like the idea of God's blessings. We had plans to move to Tennessee one day and even picked out a dream house on the river, but moving into my wife's childhood bedroom in our parents house under these circumstances was far from our frame of thinking. God had humbled us to our core, and this was the best option we were left with. At this point, we didn't have enough money for meals or to even pay rent but we still found ourselves using the last bit of gas we had in the tank to go serve others in our community with our pastor and church family. In our final days of living in Atlanta, serving others in the name of Christ, was literally the only meals we had.

(Serving local bus drivers lunch)

The day Angela's parents came and packed our belongings into their trailer I had this feeling of being rescued. I thought about how I should feel embarrassed or ashamed, but I couldn't because the love her parents gave me wouldn't allow me to feel this way. On top of that, I had submitted myself to God's will, whatever that would be and at that time it was to leave for Tennessee. We knew it was only by God's grace were we able to make it as far as we did, and we were reaffirmed of this when we had made it to Tennessee and our car's engine blew-up one house down from pulling into our parents driveway. Now we were without a car, jobless, and living under our parent's roof with no money and an unborn child. We could only wonder and pray what God had in store for us.

After a few days of allowing reality to set-in, Angela reached out to people at her hometown church to see if they knew of any job availability. With her being pregnant I didn't want her working, but here I was without having any prior work history or resumé. Thankfully, Angela received a response from a friend, Debbie,she had met through a missions project that said her husband, Lanny, may have some work available doing some house remodeling. The first conversation I had with Lanny was at church and he said he had to check to be sure if he had a position open and most importantly he had to pray about it. It didn't make his decision any easier because I told him I had never really handled tools before  and I had next to zero work experience. Once Lanny got back to me and let me know he could take me on board, he expressed to me how this job opportunity was strictly a "God Thing" and about nothing else. He had taken on other men from our church that also had difficulty finding work and Lanny let me know he felt led to do the same for me. I couldn't feel anything but respect and admiration towards him for giving me a chance. 

Remodeling houses? What had I gotten myself into? I didn't even have work clothes or boots. Designer jeans and exclusive shoes quickly became my paint and dirt covered work apparel. Everything I once cherished had depreciated in value, including my identity. I went from being the face of teams to having my face under sinks and beside toilet seats. I went from giving orders on the court to taking them, only to make mistake after mistake and constantly having to be corrected. Many times I felt like the weakest link, many times I was. I was working more with my hands and mind than I ever had before and it was the toughest work I've ever had to do, it was also the most rewarding. Everyday I would ride with Lanny to and from the work site and we would talk about nothing but Jesus. I looked forward to going to work every morning despite whatever challenge I knew we would be facing. Whether it was being baked under the sun while painting someone's deck or rolling around on a bathroom floor to fix a toilet. I knew God had a lesson waiting for me no matter what, I felt like I was becoming more real, and I had joy in my heart when I went to work. 

   

(On the job)

So much of that came from watching Lanny and the pride he took in his work and how humbled he remained throughout it all. He continually  reminded me, it's not the work we are doing but how we do our work and the One we are working for and as long as we always know this, we will know who we are as men (of God) and we can be secure in that. I became best friends with a 68 year old man fixing houses over the summer, and I knew if I could have joy in my heart doing this I could have joy doing anything. Truth of the matter is, I hadn't felt this much joy doing anything else not even playing basketball. I felt in my spirit that if I could keep this same mentality with basketball, something I have been blessed with the talent to do, I would once again discover the love for the game I once found so much enjoyment in. Everything I felt I had gained from playing basketball are the things I thought made me blessed, but turns out those things I was seeking were the very things robbing me of my joy, most of which God stripped from my life. It is the little bit that remained, when all else was lost, that allowed the scales to fall from my eyes to be able see the blessings God had given me. A few select friends and family, the spiritual family the Lord had placed around us, and our church homes, Piedmont and Calvary. 

(Thanks to Mom for cooking for us daily)

The most important of those things would be waiting for me every day in the drive way when I got home from work, Angela, who I couldn't wait to share it all with. She fully understood and she was thinking the same thing all along.We prayed about it, sought wise counsel, and we felt in our hearts it was best for me to return to play basketball, if at all in God's will.

      And that's how the remainder of the summer went, everyday after an exhausting days work with Lanny and the crew I would be refreshed by the sight of Angela waiting for me in the driveway, even if she had a basketball in her hands waiting to put me through a workout in the back yard. We had no car to go to the gym and not even enough money for a gym membership. 

(Our back yard where we trained every day)

After a few weeks of working out my brother-in-law Ray thought it would be good for me to play in a summer Pro-Am in Knoxville's Rocky Top League. I felt a bit shaky about it at first because I had taken a year off without playing at all and there was quality competition there, but again I felt my faith being tested. I could find every excuse not to play: I wasn't ready, I didn't want to get hurt, we didn't have a car to get back and forth to the game, gas money, I had work in the morning. Angela only had to give me one reason to play, to bring honor and glory to God using my God given talent. My Father-in-law even bought us a car to use for transportation. God provided everything we needed, and it was all right there in front of us. From the opening play of the league I knew I still had what it took, not because of my ability but because of the things I had gone through and learned. 

(Article in Knox News Sentinel covering Rocky Top League) 

     My family and I were not in any position to give anything to anyone other than God's love, and God brought us to a place where that's all we received in return. At our lowest of lows we found ourselves richer than ever in God's love, basting in the joys of the Lord and more confident than ever, not in ourselves but in knowing Jehovah Jireh.